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- something recent -
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Sunday, July 12, 2009
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Perhaps it was the fact that I was not looking that made it a very good thing.
I was feeling better, waking up earlier, having more energy and being content with my life. It had been a long time since I took a breath and felt satisfied with the air around me. That feeling was what I missed most. And it was back
I was independent again. I was no longer trapped in the vice that was myself.
As far as love was concerned I understood it, I felt it. It was different every time...different with every person. I hadn't found the profound love that lasted forever. I wanted to, but it was happening yet, and I needed to focus on myself.
So here I was on a plane by myself flying to some the best friends I knew. It was their senior year of college, not mine unfortunately. But I was content. I was branching out, trying things out of my norm. When I arrived there were 2 guests I knew little about in our group. 2 male guests. One was...well to put this nicely not one I would ever be attracted to, but still a blast to be around. The other was more quiet, equally fun, but he was much more like me...content with his surroundings and enjoyed where he was at that time. It was these attributes that attracted me to him most. At first my fondness for him was a friendly one. He would stay up late with me, watching ridiculous faux reality shows, making fun, enjoying my company as much as I enjoyed his.
He and I had a mutual close friend. Kristina. Kristina was very likeable, the most outgoing person I have ever known. She was also a little meddler...in a harmless way. She told me all about his past relationship that he had just been released from. Sounded very reminiscent of the one I ended just 10 months prior. She wanted me to help....revive him again....show him, as she put it..."what it was like to be around a cool girl." I was flattered. She was very observant and she saw me how I always wanted to be seen...and she spoke the truth...which made me love her even more.
The more time he and I spent together the more I realized my fondness was growing. I did not expect to have feelings for him...nor was a really suppose to develop them. At first I thought he was trouble...until it became evident that he felt the same. Was it too soon? He had only been alone for six weeks by now...for the first time in three years. I started to love every minute with him. I had found someone who just enjoyed relaxing, enjoyed the small things, someone who taught me something new every day. I loved that we could take walks, enjoying the surroundings without filling every silence we encountered. He was...easy to be around...no muss, no fuss. We talked every day, we laid on couches and just looked at each other smiling, jesting, caressing. He was so passionate, and gentle and it was so evident he cared. Then graduation came and he left for the summer, only to return in the fall. I missed him every day...I didn't love him yet...but the possibility was there for the future, and I liked that.
All of the guys that had shown interest in the last year were so...unoriginal. Sure, they were great....i'm sure I would have been satisfied....but they just didn't have that...zsa zsa zsu. The spark. The umph...the thing. They weren't enough to hold my interest for a long time. That was my problem of late. But I stopped looking for someone, and here he was on a silver platter...so unexpected and so...right.
Although the future is uncertain I am fairly confident I have found someone to stand still with me. The person who looks at me with those electric blue eyes and gives me a jolt. The person who understands me. It may not be forever, It may not now be love...but it is something I am willing to find out.
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- Twilight -
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Thursday, November 27, 2008
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So this is totally random, but here would have been my picks for the ladies of Twilight.
Now, after seeing the movie, i love who they cast, and i'm a little more convinced. But I still think these girls look the part...even if their acting sucks. =) I was pretty please with Bella, so I won't change her up.
For Rosalie:
My Pick (again, going on looks only here)
Twilight's Pick:
For Alice: (i'm actually really happy with the alice chosen, but alice is my fav character, so ya know)
My Half-hearted pick (because no one is good enough to play Alice)
Twilight Pick:
And for Esme...maybe...
Twilight Pick:
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- quick update...for all of those on the edge of your seat -
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008
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My word has it been a long time!!!
not much has been happening my way, which I think I say every new post with a 6 month or more span.
It's ok though, Kimie is slacking far more than myself.
So let's get right down to business...
I started my first nursing clinical...geriatrics. I got to go scrub shopping...Grey's Anatomy scrubs which fit amazing. I also bought my first stethoscope...and it made me happy. Clemson Orange Littman Stethoscope. weeee! I thought I would despise clinical - it being old people and all, but it turns out I fell in love with the people...something I had not anticipated.
Today was my last day and I am going to miss it. Thanks to my ridiculously gappy (that's right I said it) schedule I'll have some time to run over to NHC (the nursing facility) and say hey to all my favorites.
I am currently reading an embarrassing book for teenagers - Twilight.
It seems the entire world is enamored by this series....and there's no mystery why.
Edward Cullen may be the hottest thing since...a toaster...or something else that's extremely hot.
OK lava...that's deathly hot.
To make matters worse I have turned Kimie onto the series and my cousin. Poor thing...only fifteen and will begin to have false pretenses....because no man is like Edward Cullen....*sigh*
anyways, go out and grab a copy.
there are four books to the series (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse)...the fourth (Breaking Dawn) coming out this August...the second to be exact.
so to sum it up...first nursing clinical...a success....
new teen book makes me randy.
ok anyways time for bed because this girlfriend has been up since five am.
i don't do five a.m.
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Thursday, December 13, 2007
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So with the holidays coming up...that's exactly what's been on my mind. That and the plain weirdness of some of them.
Just picture a large white haired fat man trying to get your children to sit on their lap...what about that sounds right to parents...and why are they going for it when it's santa??
"Honey, old Jim from across the street would like our children to come over and sit on his lap..he wants us to take pictures"
"ABSOLUETLY NOT! NOT THAT CRAZY OLD MAN!"
"He's going to be dressed up like santa"
"Oh, well in that case..."
seriously...why are parents going for this...expecially in today's particularly sick world...
And the Easter Bunny....who's he kidding? What does he do exactly and how the hell did he make the cut for Easter??? So many other things would make more sense....
The snowman has managed to edge his way into Christmas...how many people have the privelige to make a snowman on Christmas anyhow?? Not anyone from here...especially with it being 80 degrees and sunny today. bullshit i tell you.
aaanyways, exams are done, my christmas shopping is close to being done....just so you know.
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- 2nd place is the worst place -
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007
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No matter how hard you can try at something being 2nd best is about the worst, especially when giving 103%. Because even though people may say you aren't 2nd best, actions always speak louder than words, and boy do they hurt too. There are alot of things in my life that I have felt only 2nd best, and it sucks...but maybe I'm not the type of person that can be 1st in everything, and being this competitive leaves me frustrated with such situations. In the end it sucks, and breaks my heart a little, but then again I guess I am definitely 1st where it counts, maybe I should stop giving 100% to everything where acheiving number 1 isn't going to happen. But I can't do that...it's simply not me...no no I have to live frustrated. Why are there things I just can't let go and why can't the red ribbon look just as good as the blue one?
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- Good Riddance -
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Friday, June 08, 2007
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So according to reliable sources...the 'Diva Dish'...or as Josh likes to call it, the 'Disco Diva'...anyways, I have caught word that Isaiah Washington has been fired from Grey's Anatomy and will not be returning for Season 4. And I would just like to say Good Riddance. Of all the characters he is certainly one of my least favorite...my least favorite being Callie. Get rid of her too while you're at it! The last straw for me was the season 3 finale. He left Christina. Bastard.
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- ok... -
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Wednesday, June 06, 2007
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So I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around.
Have you ever hurt someone and beaten yourself up about it?
I had an interesting insight on this today....
What if the person you hurt had spent so much of their time hurting other people that they were bound to get what they deserve, so instead of feeling crappy...or in my case letting them bully you into feeling crappy...reflect on all the crap they may have pulled and say hey, maybe they deserved it. And I'm not trying to say I go around screwing people over, I mean, I'm not that cruel...but sometimes it happens. Then again I am cruel...I'm just openly cruel, and I admit when I do cruel things. I like to think I can keep cruel people in check...with...cruelty...ok i'm gonna go on that note...
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